Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 9, 2021 4:34:33 GMT
We all know about them. We all even laugh at them. Let us have some laughter at the expense of the dumb criminals of the world. My first one is about a guy that I actually knew.
I worked with this guy when I lived in Michigan. After about a year he got sacked, due to crack use, and moved to another city. One day he goes into a bank without a mask or any type of disguise and handed the teller a note stating that he had a gun and demanded money. The teller handed him the money without a word. When he left, he did not take the note with him. On the other side of the note was the name and address of his brother with whom he was staying at the time. It did not take police long to catch him. He got eight years for bank robbery.
|
|
AndiTheBarvarian
Member
Bavarianbarbarian - Semper Semprini
Posts: 9,821
Member is Online
|
Post by AndiTheBarvarian on May 9, 2021 5:43:32 GMT
Our garage owners' mother was in the counter of the gas station when a robber came in. She saw that it wasn't a very dangerous man and asked him to sign a receipt for their insurance. He did... Dunno if this story is 100 % true, but I like it.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 10, 2021 7:41:47 GMT
Our garage owners' mother was in the counter of the gas station when a robber came in. She saw that it wasn't a very dangerous man and asked him to sign a receipt for their insurance. He did... Dunno if this story is 100 % true, but I like it. 😹😹😹😹 A teenager was being chased by police for stealing a car. He parked near a park and started running. The first officer gets out of his car and tells the kid to stop. The kid does not. Then the officer tells the kid to stop or he will shoot. Bare in mind the officer never even drew his gun. Not even a taser. The kid keeps running. So the officer literally yells out "BANG!!". The kid then drops to his knees crying and begging the officer not to shoot him again. 😹😹😹😹
|
|
christain
Member
It's the steel on the inside that counts.
Posts: 2,835
|
Post by christain on May 10, 2021 9:06:03 GMT
I still like the one about the guy that gave a store clerk a "Hand over the cash, I've got a gun" - note written on a slip of paper with his name and address on the other side. How freakin' stupid can you get? ---- -------McM
|
|
|
Post by Sir Thorfinn on May 10, 2021 15:37:41 GMT
True story. Working at a drive thru dairy, closing time (8ish) Was about 20 yrs old, in college... Car drives up, guy jumps out leans into car, and suddenly I'm looking down a shotgun barrel. Gave the guy money, he wanted me to come with him...(I'd have been shot in the desert) I distracted him by saying he needed beer to celebrate, as I hated this f-ing job. He took 2 cases of Heineken. He left gloating. Police show up, give report etc. Told them about beer. He was grabbed for DUI about 3 hours later...
|
|
|
Post by howler on May 10, 2021 20:57:29 GMT
We all know about them. We all even laugh at them. Let us have some laughter at the expense of the dumb criminals of the world. My first one is about a guy that I actually knew. I worked with this guy when I lived in Michigan. After about a year he got sacked, due to crack use, and moved to another city. One day he goes into a bank without a mask or any type of disguise and handed the teller a note stating that he had a gun and demanded money. The teller handed him the money without a word. When he left, he did not take the note with him. On the other side of the note was the name and address of his brother with whom he was staying at the time. It did not take police long to catch him. He got eight years for bank robbery. He must have been using A LOT of crack.
|
|
|
Post by soulfromheart on May 11, 2021 6:21:22 GMT
Belgium Some idiots had the idea to rob an e-cig store. It was 3:30 PM.
Shop owner told them : "Dumbasses, you want to rob me, come back at 6:30 PM when there is money !" The idiots left to come back later. Shop owner called the police who didn't believe him when he told them they would come back. "What make you think they will come again ?" - "Pretty sure we don't have the brightest ones there."
They came back a little early though at 5:30 PM. Shop owner : "You braindead or what ? Go buy a semprining watch ! 6:30 PM I said, not 5:30 PM !" They left again. Shop owner called again the police which finally came.
6:30 PM : 5 (punctual) dumbasses arrested.
|
|
|
Post by treeslicer on May 12, 2021 0:05:02 GMT
I saw a lot of "disorganized crime" while I was in law enforcement, but my favorite is the guy who hijacked a trailer containing 20,000 pounds of frozen beef anuses headed to a sausage plant. When he found out what he was charged with stealing, he sorta broke down.
|
|
|
Post by howler on May 12, 2021 1:05:48 GMT
I saw a lot of "disorganized crime" while I was in law enforcement, but my favorite is the guy who hijacked a trailer containing 20,000 pounds of frozen beef anuses headed to a sausage plant. When he found out what he was charged with stealing, he sorta broke down. Just imagine the look on a criminal who, when opening the "back door" (pun intended) of the trailer expecting to see expensive TV, computer, etc...loot, goes face to face with a mountain of arse.
|
|
|
Post by treeslicer on May 12, 2021 3:20:12 GMT
I saw a lot of "disorganized crime" while I was in law enforcement, but my favorite is the guy who hijacked a trailer containing 20,000 pounds of frozen beef anuses headed to a sausage plant. When he found out what he was charged with stealing, he sorta broke down. Just imagine the look on a criminal who, when opening the "back door" (pun intended) of the trailer expecting to see expensive TV, computer, etc...loot, goes face to face with a mountain of arse. I don't have to imagine it, it was flipping awesome when the vehicular burglary guys showed him. Most obscene and profane admission of guilt I ever heard.
|
|
christain
Member
It's the steel on the inside that counts.
Posts: 2,835
|
Post by christain on May 12, 2021 5:59:11 GMT
I saw a lot of "disorganized crime" while I was in law enforcement, but my favorite is the guy who hijacked a trailer containing 20,000 pounds of frozen beef anuses headed to a sausage plant. When he found out what he was charged with stealing, he sorta broke down. I will never eat sausage again.-------McM
|
|
AndiTheBarvarian
Member
Bavarianbarbarian - Semper Semprini
Posts: 9,821
Member is Online
|
Post by AndiTheBarvarian on May 12, 2021 6:49:36 GMT
"Kiss my sausage" can be misunderstood!
|
|
pgandy
Moderator
Senior Forumite
Posts: 10,296
|
Post by pgandy on May 12, 2021 12:59:28 GMT
I don’t suppose that is any worse than chitlings. Processed meat is largely composed of what I wouldn’t ordinarily eat such as bone, skin, fat, MSG, etc. Then I understand that colouring is added as in many cases without the colouring the appearance of the stuff is terrible. I ate enough Spam in my early years to last a life time. The baloney lasted in my brown bag lunches through school but not since.
|
|
|
Post by Curtis_Louis on May 12, 2021 13:33:12 GMT
When I was a youngster, the neighbor's teenage son was arrested for burglary. He used a ladder to climb through a second story bedroom window and steal the owner's purse. As he came down the ladder, he dropped his wallet on the ground. The rest speaks for itself.
|
|
christain
Member
It's the steel on the inside that counts.
Posts: 2,835
|
Post by christain on May 12, 2021 16:07:46 GMT
Get this----My NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR stole my brand new above-ground swimming pool...still in the box. And set it up...in plain view. One night when he was gone, I snuck over and knifed it in several places. Three or four days later he was arrested for possession of meth. Now he's in jail with no place to swim. Dumb-a**. --------McM
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 13, 2021 5:15:33 GMT
I saw a lot of "disorganized crime" while I was in law enforcement, but my favorite is the guy who hijacked a trailer containing 20,000 pounds of frozen beef anuses headed to a sausage plant. When he found out what he was charged with stealing, he sorta broke down. UAB : What are you in for? That thief: Stealing some cow a**es. UAB: You dumba**. 😹😹😹😹
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 13, 2021 5:16:15 GMT
"Kiss my sausage" can be misunderstood! 😹😹😹😹 Which way do you take it? 😹😹😹😹
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 13, 2021 5:18:04 GMT
I saw a lot of "disorganized crime" while I was in law enforcement, but my favorite is the guy who hijacked a trailer containing 20,000 pounds of frozen beef anuses headed to a sausage plant. When he found out what he was charged with stealing, he sorta broke down. Just imagine the look on a criminal who, when opening the "back door" (pun intended) of the trailer expecting to see expensive TV, computer, etc...loot, goes face to face with a mountain of arse. 😹😹😹😹
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 13, 2021 5:26:39 GMT
One night a narcotics unit had busted a drug house. While they were cleaning up and wrapping the evidence, people showed up. Bare in mind clearly marked police cars and narcotics officers were in the front yard. Those people showing up kept asking if the drug dealer was still home. Politely the outside officers responded that he was. They directed them to go through the back door. As they entered, they were arrested by the officers who were inside when they tried to make a buy. It went on for hours, vehicles got confiscated and nearly one hundred arrests were made and that does not include the occupants of the drug house.
😹😹😹😹
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2021 9:02:51 GMT
One time a cop was doing his standard patrol when he noticed a guy with a sign that caught his attention. It was a sign advertising marijuana that the dumb criminal was selling. 😹😹😹😹
|
|