Zen_Hydra
Moderator
Born with a heart full of neutrality
Posts: 2,659 
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Post by Zen_Hydra on Aug 8, 2017 14:21:57 GMT
What is the most mind-numbingly ludicrous weapon(s) you know of, and why is it so stupid?
Let's make a distinction between modern/ballistic weapons (like the duck's foot pistol or M-29 Davy Crockett),
and pre-modern/muscle-powered weapons (like the urumi or nine-dragon trident).
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Post by howler on Aug 8, 2017 18:36:26 GMT
This is a great question. All those knife pistols (before they standardized revolvers) were kind of crazy.
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AndiTheBarvarian
Member
"Lord of the Memes"
Bavarianbarbarian - Semper Semprini
Posts: 10,325
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Post by AndiTheBarvarian on Aug 8, 2017 19:12:41 GMT
The sickle, despite it's official part of hema and may really work as a weapon, I don't like it.   |
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Post by bfoo2 on Aug 8, 2017 20:58:10 GMT
Cutlass bayonet Because what you really want on the end of your 10lb rifle is 3lb of awkwardly-balanced metal  |
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Post by Verity on Aug 8, 2017 21:00:01 GMT
The one you left at home when you need it.
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Post by howler on Aug 8, 2017 21:14:48 GMT
The one you left at home when you need it. Great answer. How about the thing between Curly, Moe, and Larry's ears. |
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Post by stopped1 on Aug 8, 2017 23:31:06 GMT
Plug bayonets, they were stupid.
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Post by Timo Nieminen on Aug 9, 2017 0:36:40 GMT
Maus, nuclear bazooka, brass-hilted artillery gladius, Boulton Paul Defiant, and many more have their problems. Perhaps the winner should be the Bob Semple tank: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Semple_tank - designed by a politician, and so bad that a country that needed all the tanks it could get rejected it. (Australia has a similar tank shortage, but their solution, the Sentinel tank, was OK.) The bat bomb: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb must also be a strong candidate. Outside ornamental weapons, there aren't that many stupid pre-modern weapons. Some of them weren't great, but that isn't the same as stupid. There is the urumi, but that perhaps belongs with in the "ornamental" category. There is the artillery gladius (in the list above), which manages 1.1kg (IIRC) for a 19" blade, but to be fair to it, it's more brush-cutter than a weapon. Flaming pigs sound like a stupid idea, but they supposedly worked. Pre-modern... tonfas, perhaps. But afaik, they were more of an improvised weapon, so not really that stupid at all. Police weapon. A bunch of Okinawan kobudo weapons are police weapons (staff, sai, tonfa, chain). |
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Post by vermithrax on Aug 9, 2017 0:49:46 GMT
The one you left at home when you need it. Epic answer right here ^^^^^^^^^^^ |
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Post by Verity on Aug 9, 2017 0:55:54 GMT
The one you left at home when you need it. Epic answer right here ^^^^^^^^^^^ 😂 |
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Post by howler on Aug 9, 2017 8:31:26 GMT
Maus, nuclear bazooka, brass-hilted artillery gladius, Boulton Paul Defiant, and many more have their problems. Perhaps the winner should be the Bob Semple tank: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Semple_tank - designed by a politician, and so bad that a country that needed all the tanks it could get rejected it. (Australia has a similar tank shortage, but their solution, the Sentinel tank, was OK.) The bat bomb: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb must also be a strong candidate. Outside ornamental weapons, there aren't that many stupid pre-modern weapons. Some of them weren't great, but that isn't the same as stupid. There is the urumi, but that perhaps belongs with in the "ornamental" category. There is the artillery gladius (in the list above), which manages 1.1kg (IIRC) for a 19" blade, but to be fair to it, it's more brush-cutter than a weapon. Flaming pigs sound like a stupid idea, but they supposedly worked. Pre-modern... tonfas, perhaps. But afaik, they were more of an improvised weapon, so not really that stupid at all. Police weapon. A bunch of Okinawan kobudo weapons are police weapons (staff, sai, tonfa, chain). They were gonna make a couple hundred of those 200 ton tanks (Maus...or Mouse). Would have been formidable in the rubble of cities, so long as competent air power wasn't around, as they were conceived as mobile fortresses. The prototype actually performed well in tests. Clearly an INSANE waste of resources, as you could make around 5 panthers, as the best overall tanks of WWll were medium, where you balanced firepower, armament, speed, and ability to cover distances without horrific use of gas. |
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AndiTheBarvarian
Member
"Lord of the Memes"
Bavarianbarbarian - Semper Semprini
Posts: 10,325
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Post by AndiTheBarvarian on Aug 9, 2017 10:55:23 GMT
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pattyb0009
Member
Getting into antique sabers...
Posts: 1,974
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Post by pattyb0009 on Aug 9, 2017 16:26:08 GMT
Saddam's Project Babylon. Giant, fixed arty in the age of jet bombers? Um.....?
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pattyb0009
Member
Getting into antique sabers...
Posts: 1,974
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Post by pattyb0009 on Aug 9, 2017 16:26:58 GMT
Blade wise, plug bayonets all day long. But stopped1 beat me to it!
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Post by pellius on Aug 19, 2017 23:55:13 GMT
I had never heard of the Bob Semple tank. I had to Wiki it. Wow.
Quoting wiki:
"The idea was discarded after the tanks attracted public ridicule."
I have never before heard of a military weapon platform that was so bad it was literally laughed out of existence.
Nonetheless, I still vote the nuclear bazooka as the dumbest idea ever.
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Post by howler on Aug 20, 2017 0:05:47 GMT
I had never heard of the Bob Semple tank. I had to Wiki it. Wow. Quoting wiki: "The idea was discarded after the tanks attracted public ridicule." I have never before heard of a military weapon platform that was so bad it was literally laughed out of existence. Nonetheless, I still vote the nuclear bazooka as the dumbest idea ever. Just who is entrusted to wield the nuclear bazooka, your standard soldier? Clearly, it would have to be a VERY specialized unit, who ALONE would be cleared to use. |
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Post by Timo Nieminen on Aug 20, 2017 0:58:02 GMT
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Post by demonskull on Aug 20, 2017 1:08:38 GMT
Pykrete War Ships : War Ships that were to be made of wood pulp and frozen water.
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Post by MOK on Aug 20, 2017 1:49:17 GMT
Pykrete War Ships : War Ships that were to be made of wood pulp and frozen water. It's actually kind of a cool idea.  I think I'll nominate the "cumberjung".  I shall quote Royal Armouries: Quoit Dangerous
This cumberjung is a unique weapon within the collections of the Royal Armouries. It is a double-ended flail, consisting of a wooden shaft turned with mouldings for gripping, and sharpened discs or quoits attached to the brass chains at either end. The faces of the quoits are padded and covered with knotted thread in concentric bands of white, faded red and blue. In its entirety, the flail weighs just over 1 kilogram. It was made in Gujarat on the west coast of India in the late 18th/early 19th centuries.
To use the cumberjung one would grip the handle at either end and manipulate it so that the quoits whirled through the air at either side, slicing into an opponent. It could be a ruthless weapon in close combat, but much skill and practice were needed for it to be properly effective.Now, as far as I can tell, aside from the physical description most of that is simply made up nonsense, and as far as I have been able to determine the thing in the Royal Armouries is the only known example of this "weapon" outside of D&D. My uninformed opinion is that it's some kind of toy or showpiece or possibly a prank (albeit an old one). |
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Post by adambomb on Aug 20, 2017 3:43:26 GMT
 The Apache Knuckleduster Pistol. Let's see what we have here... A small wavy letter opener that would be a pain to sharpen, and is likely too short and thin to cause anything more than an irritating fleshwound. Five bucks says that locking mechanism would collapse and cause the blade to bite into your fingers. A revolver firing an anemic cartridge with no barrel whatsoever. Your lethal range would probably be the same as your literal spitting distance. And some knuckles. I would rather go into a back-alley brawl with a lead pipe over this, if given the choice. |
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