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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2010 1:05:22 GMT
I went up to my Deepeeka Saxon Sword today and screamed at it "You are nothing, you are worthless, your so blunt and cold towards me, I dont care if you were never forged properly when you were born you will never amount to anything, never be an Albion!!!!!!!, scratch the surface and ....... well your pretty rusty on the surface ............ rusty at alot of things. Then I slapped it ......... oh god I slapped it hard ......... just to see if maybe it had a P.O.B Then locked it in the cupboard I NEED to know is this sword abuse ......... is there a hotline .......
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Post by randomnobody on Mar 19, 2010 1:29:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2010 1:36:27 GMT
Dude, it's a Deepeeka. It was born with a severe handicap from the get go. Not only will abusing it will get you nowhere, it will probably get you reported to DFACS as well.
Just love it for what it is, it cannot help that it was born the way it was...
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Avery
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Manufacturer/Vendor
"It's alright little brother... There are more!!!
Posts: 1,826
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Post by Avery on Mar 19, 2010 1:50:04 GMT
Perhaps you should treat it like we do our uncle Earl....lock it in the attic and pretend it's not there. Just an idea.
Or you can just keep slapping, hitting and screaming at it, but that never worked with Earl...... neither did enemas, so don't bother trying that either.
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Post by Dave(utilityslave) on Mar 19, 2010 3:54:51 GMT
Sounds like medication may be called for in his instance.........I don't mean for the sword either!lol
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Post by Tom K. (ianflaer) on Mar 19, 2010 4:03:29 GMT
hmmm sounds like cupboard abuse to me. deepeeka . . . hmpf! as if that's even really a sword!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2010 4:08:38 GMT
In some cultures, they call that counseling. Now you need to let go a Primal Scream...
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Post by YlliwCir on Mar 19, 2010 9:12:43 GMT
Yeah, what Tom said. Can't be sword abuse without a sword. That's like beating on a doll and calling it child abuse.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2010 15:22:27 GMT
One word dude,,,Valium......OK... now that Ive had a couple,slap it again.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2010 16:13:23 GMT
Oh, that'll just turn it on. Deepeeka swords love that kind of kinky stuff...
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Post by Dave(utilityslave) on Mar 19, 2010 16:15:29 GMT
Just don't slap it too hard.............
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Dom T.
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Success, depress, ambition. Progress, regress, recognition.
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Post by Dom T. on Mar 19, 2010 16:22:27 GMT
EAT IT. EAT ITS CARCASS.
Hm, actually, that could be quite painful. Never mind, scratch that idea. Just melt it into slag and make some fittings!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2010 17:34:03 GMT
Why not do some Cold Steel-like tests on that sword . That would vent lots of steam (Actually, don't do that, unless you need a reliable way to dismember someone, including yourself.)
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ecovolo
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"Ich bin ein Landsknecht."
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Post by ecovolo on Mar 19, 2010 17:46:24 GMT
Put it next to a *real* sword and let it realize that it won't amount. Then, put it through a two-minute, movie-style training montage (soundtracked to "You're The Best Around", "Don't Stop Believing" or somesuch 80's hard rock song). When it comes out appearing bigger and badder after said training montage . . .
slap it around some more because it's *still* a piece-of-semprini Deepeeka.
--Edward
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2010 0:45:06 GMT
just make sure you're careful as to where you hit it... Bladed objects take it personally and retaliate brutally when someone physically disrespects their edges
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2010 7:14:05 GMT
You know... Considering the quality of Deepeeka's work and how people treat them these days (ie: throw them away, give them away, let them rust away, beat stuff with them till they break) if you store it properly, it may very well be a valuable antique in 70 or 80 years.
Just think of all those uber-cheap, poorly made katanas from WW2? Dump a few tens of thousands of them into the sea and the rest of them achieve some actual worth...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2010 15:00:27 GMT
That's like beating on a doll and calling it child abuse. OMG Ric, I wet my leg. Thanks for the best laugh of the week!
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