ExtremeDeathman
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Are you staring at my Sword? You wanna taste it!?!
Posts: 191
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Post by ExtremeDeathman on Mar 5, 2009 23:02:40 GMT
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2009 23:09:16 GMT
lol, What the heck... How do you even THINK that!? I mean, at least there's a pop culture thing with katanas, but where would this idea even come from? hahaha
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2009 23:32:41 GMT
Oh dude that cracked me up. Simply brilliant... Castle Walls.
"if your katana can cut off machine gun barrels my longsword can knock off tank turrets".
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Post by brotherbanzai on Mar 5, 2009 23:53:38 GMT
That's just silly. Everyone knows that the intended use of a properly balanced long sword is to vault you over the wall so you can slay the defenders by slicing through their shields and plate armor.
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ecovolo
Member
Review Points: 95
"Ich bin ein Landsknecht."
Posts: 625
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Post by ecovolo on Mar 6, 2009 0:21:37 GMT
its provn that longswords were able to cut trugh a wall, they did destroy castles with them. they did break the gates and walls there open and kill the defendants "Defendants?" I think this guy was confusing his law with his weapon history. I think the word they are looking for is "defender". *Longswords* did this? Did this genius do any more research into siege weaponry? Or did his copy of his videogame come without the instruction booklet? I mean, what video game did he play??? "Castlebreaker Longsword 3 Ultimate Edition - The steel journey trough stone"? Ooh! Can I find a copy of that for the Playstation 3? I'll put it next to my copy of "Battlefield 1944: Katanas Slice Through Tanks" --Edward
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2009 2:08:52 GMT
No no, you misunderstand. The true purpose of the longsword was to have the longsword user loaded into a catapult and fired over the walls of the castle using his momentum to run through the defender before being fatally squashed on impact. The alternative was to load the catapult with longswords and throw them into the air creating the famous attack known as "the rain of a thousand long swords from heaven with which to smite the enemy who stands before us because we are so awezome11!" It's a bit of a mouthful but a very successful use of this was made by general Lookwhatsthatbehindyou at the famous battle of pointlessandfutilebutwe'lldoitanyway.
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Post by musicalpoo on Mar 6, 2009 2:10:46 GMT
if a katana can cut through a tank, my Two handed Gothic could bring down the Washington monument.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2009 2:23:01 GMT
none of you guys know what your talking about. a long sword was originally an eating utensil used by European ninjas. when the unnamed dark lord of evilness invaded their country with his pack of evil land dwelling sea otters armed with crossbows. the ninjas could not block the arrows in mid flight with their traditional sword, the fork. so they started using forks to eat with and long swords to block arrows with.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2009 3:09:31 GMT
Well actually that's not entirely accurate, it is true a katana can cut through a tank but guess what?! The longsword can cut through a katana!
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Post by musicalpoo on Mar 6, 2009 3:22:50 GMT
correct, and that is why we all must never eat toast again!
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ecovolo
Member
Review Points: 95
"Ich bin ein Landsknecht."
Posts: 625
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Post by ecovolo on Mar 6, 2009 6:57:49 GMT
none of you guys know what your talking about. a long sword was originally an eating utensil used by European ninjas. when the unnamed dark lord of evilness invaded their country with his pack of evil land dwelling sea otters armed with crossbows. the ninjas could not block the arrows in mid flight with their traditional sword, the fork. so they started using forks to eat with and long swords to block arrows with. +1 Karma for being funny as hell . . . and making sense, in a weird Zippy-The-Pinhead kinda way. You own the internet today . --Edward
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2009 7:33:54 GMT
Galileo Galilei used the longsword to realign the planets so that they rotate around the sun.
He was arrested before he had a chance to carve up the moon with his longsword and prove it is made of cheese.
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ExtremeDeathman
Member
Are you staring at my Sword? You wanna taste it!?!
Posts: 191
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Post by ExtremeDeathman on Mar 6, 2009 10:02:12 GMT
STOP IT! I gonna die laughing!
Originally the longsword was a jumping stick for the europeans, but as the mongols came and they were faster with their ponys than the jumping europeans, they got made and and started hitting the mongols with their jumping sticks. But the mongols weard armor and they wouldn't just die. So the jumping stick was sharpened and now they'll die! After that the euros invented the chain mail so they wouldn't cut themselves while jumping around.
Chain mail is no armor, what a nonsense, hmmpf.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2009 14:28:11 GMT
Mind a little sanity?
The guy was quite probably making fun of all the "Katanas cut through tanks" stuff out there...
...Or he has been playing Stronghold 2 and just thought that it was based on reality (this is a game where swords really do knock down stone walls)...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2009 15:40:56 GMT
GEEEEZE! ...Draggin' reality into THIS discussion! ;D WHATareyouthinkin'?
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Post by Tom K. (ianflaer) on Mar 6, 2009 15:45:06 GMT
Stronghold 2. . . so if this hold was so strong why was it able to be knocked down with a sword? is this why we are on Stronghold 2? did stronghold 1 get knocked down with a sword?
gotta be carefull around those swords.
"Swords will F#cking kill you!" -Tripp Fisk-
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ecovolo
Member
Review Points: 95
"Ich bin ein Landsknecht."
Posts: 625
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Post by ecovolo on Mar 6, 2009 19:21:32 GMT
Stronghold 2. . . so if this hold was so strong why was it able to be knocked down with a sword? is this why we are on Stronghold 2? did stronghold 1 get knocked down with a sword? This inspires me! I made a parody of "Budweiser's Real Men Of Genius" commercials for the katana forum; I think it qualifies for this thread as well ;D : Budweiser presents, Real Men of Genius. Reeeal Men of Geeeenius!Today we salute you, Mr. Stronghold-Gets-Destroyed-By-A-Sword Guy. Mr. Stronghold-Gets-Destroyed-By-A-Sword Guuuuuy!While other guys made their castles out of rock, you laughed—after all, paper is so much cheaper! Got caaaastle at a discount!When Stronghold number one came down, you didn’t let that stop you as you built Stronghold number two—and upgraded to cardboard. Gonna stiiiiiill get it done cheaply!Your attackers laughed at you again and again as they chopped down your castle with longswords, making your castle the most popular stop for Vikings before they made the state of Minnesota. Gettin’ pooooopular with the raiders!So here's to you, Champion of The Budget Defensive Structure. Your decision to use low-grade materials to make the cheapest defensive building possible will set the trend for *centuries * of wasteful government spending on cheap, faulty materials with a short lifespan. Maybe one day you’ll cop a clue and use stones for your castle . . . if you live that long. Mr. Stronghold-Gets-Destroyed-By-A-Sword Guuuuuy!--Edward P.S. If anyone here hasn't heard the Budweiser "Real Men of Genius" commercials, here's one:
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Post by musicalpoo on Mar 7, 2009 7:30:36 GMT
yes yes, the truth is everyone...I am a Dwarf named Dwarlin Oakenshield, and I have come to save the planet earth from Xylonians, who, as we speak, are riding their invisible ponies of death through space towards Earth
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2009 21:41:38 GMT
This is getting to far outta context, we must look back to the historical uses of the longsword, you know it can be used for everything, particularly chopping wood, shaving, AND as a skewer to cook meat over a fire ....... its the weapon of a THOUSAND USES!!! ....... thats why the smooth faced men at arms fought with maces and axes mostly ......... their swords edges and tempers had been F#$!ED felling redwoods and char-grilling venison ............
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Post by musicalpoo on Mar 7, 2009 21:52:47 GMT
Also, ring-hilts in particular, make EXCELLENT battering rams
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