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Post by amstel78 on Jan 10, 2020 10:40:31 GMT
I have a decently sized, semi-rotund feline, that weighs a hair over 5.5 kg or roughly 12.2 pounds. Problem is, he wont ever let me sleep past a certain hour (usually 0430-0500). He always targets me; never my wife or my kids. Me. He usually ends up either; a) scratching the side of the bed I sleep on, or b) sitting on my face until I can't breathe anymore. His sole purpose is to wake me up so I can prepare his breakfast which usually consists of minced cat food interspersed with hard bits of kibble. The manner of presenting his meal can be likened to a petty samurai offering his lord a sword or special gift. You know the pose; kneeling, head bowed, both arms extended forwarded with a bowl ceremoniously held in reverence.
Thankfully I'm a morning person so his ritualistic incursions into my REM sleep cycle are tolerable. I would however like to convey to him in a fashion he could understand, that there are times when I would prefer my repose to remain unbroken - at least to human standards. Unfortunately we appear to be at an impasse as my Catglish is very poor and no interpreter is available.
So I've decided to pen this post at a time when most people on the east coast are still dreaming about whatever it is they dream of, with hopes that there are others in this community that share a similar misfortune.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 10, 2020 11:44:29 GMT
In the evening, leave a small amount (cat snack size) of dry food out in a different spot you usually feed him. The next morning, replace feeding with play or better yet hugging until he struggles to be released. He has either already eaten the snack or ignored it. Let him go hungry, aside from water, until you return later in the day. Repeat until he associates your return home with serving his attentions. Leave catnip out when you go to work. Build a motion activated chew toy to keep him busy and hunting.
Or, no snack left out and offer him an empty bowl in the morning before returning to sleep or getting on with your day.
Definitely dope him and leave him things to destroy. Check shoes for presents.
All this, assuming an indoor cat.
Outdoor cats will usually leave you alone if they have egress. Self feeding kibble reservoirs less healthy than a small portion left out until they will eat if really hungry.
Cheers GC
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Post by amstel78 on Jan 10, 2020 11:52:51 GMT
Thanks for the suggestions Edelweiss. I'll leave out a small bowl of kibble before going to bed tonight to see if that satiates him until a more decent hour.
Agreed on the gravity feeders. Despite Cornelius being an indoor cat with little to do during the day, I'm impressed with his ability to self-regulate (for the most part). He only eats when he's hungry. Although I sometimes wonder if his morning constitution is performed more out of habit than hunger.
As for his weight, he does have fat in the usual places but I can still feel his spine and rib cage. His vet says that he's just "big boned."
We try to feed him small amounts 2 to 3 times per day. On weekends he'll get a bit more.
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Post by demonskull on Jan 10, 2020 12:30:13 GMT
Not rock science !
Close the bedroom door !
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Post by amstel78 on Jan 10, 2020 12:47:16 GMT
Oh I've tried that. He'll meow and scratch at the door all night so one can't even fall asleep to begin with. I've even tried locking him in the room my kids are in, and he'll do the same thing trying to get out to our room. At least if I leave my door open, he'll come in and sleep under the bed until it's time for me to feed him. I think he's imprinted on me in some unhealthy fashion...
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Post by Sir Thorfinn on Jan 10, 2020 13:39:38 GMT
Consider these as a way to keep your loving Lord and Master content. smile.amazon.com/dp/B07HFKDJF8/?coliid=I3MXVH15U5VVAB&colid=33I4DZPPZBEUA&psc=1&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_itIt will give Master something to hunt, something to do, and purrrrr-haps leave you alone...maybe. I have 3 indoor cats. With similar ... habits. Other suggestions: Have an extra pillow to throw at said morning creature. Keep a squirt gun next to the bed. And consider your luck...one of mine, the loudest (17lb tomcat Siamese) goes thru all that to snub the food once presented. I hear taco bell buys cat by the pound...*considers*
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Post by Gunnar Wolfgard on Jan 10, 2020 13:49:06 GMT
Not a problem, eat her. One good belch and she'll never bother you again, guaranteed.
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christain
Member
It's the steel on the inside that counts.
Posts: 2,835
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Post by christain on Jan 10, 2020 14:02:33 GMT
Haven't you figured out yet that cats are NOT from this planet? They are alien overlords, bent on total human slavery. We have no choice but to bend to their will....... Give them what they want and don't look them in the eye....they will eat your face while you sleep. *edit*--- Or, at least purr in your face, depriving you of oxygen until you die.
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Post by Gunnar Wolfgard on Jan 10, 2020 14:06:52 GMT
Not if you eat them first.
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christain
Member
It's the steel on the inside that counts.
Posts: 2,835
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Post by christain on Jan 10, 2020 14:12:05 GMT
Not if you eat them first. I could say so much, make such off-hand comments, and so many jokes....but I like my membership here, so I'll keep it clean.
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Post by Gunnar Wolfgard on Jan 10, 2020 14:18:07 GMT
You better not, us old guys have to set an example for the young buck. We can think it but we shouldn't say it.
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christain
Member
It's the steel on the inside that counts.
Posts: 2,835
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Post by christain on Jan 10, 2020 14:22:00 GMT
No worries.
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christain
Member
It's the steel on the inside that counts.
Posts: 2,835
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Post by christain on Jan 10, 2020 14:29:00 GMT
But truly though, cats are alien overlords. They can stare you down and inject thoughts into your mind. Feed me. Play with me. Brush me. CHANGE MY LITTER BOX!..........
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Post by Gunnar Wolfgard on Jan 10, 2020 14:36:10 GMT
That's why I'm a Wolf/ dog guy. Don't like a pet that has to poop in a box. They should poop on the floor like a dog does or anywhere they want like a Wolf does.
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Post by Gunnar Wolfgard on Jan 10, 2020 14:53:31 GMT
Consider these as a way to keep your loving Lord and Master content. smile.amazon.com/dp/B07HFKDJF8/?coliid=I3MXVH15U5VVAB&colid=33I4DZPPZBEUA&psc=1&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_itIt will give Master something to hunt, something to do, and purrrrr-haps leave you alone...maybe. I have 3 indoor cats. With similar ... habits. Other suggestions: Have an extra pillow to throw at said morning creature. Keep a squirt gun next to the bed. And consider your luck...one of mine, the loudest (17lb tomcat Siamese) goes thru all that to snub the food once presented. I hear taco bell buys cat by the pound...*considers* Funny you should mention that. In the strip mall I first had my business in there was a Chinese restaurant down at the other end. One night when I was leaving late after dark I saw one of the guys walking to the back of the restaurant with a large white sack over his shoulder. Thought nothing of it at first until a week or so later there was an article in the paper about cats turning up missing. Large enough number for the paper to do a article about it.
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Post by amstel78 on Jan 10, 2020 15:31:57 GMT
But truly though, cats are alien overlords. They can stare you down and inject thoughts into your mind. Feed me. Play with me. Brush me. CHANGE MY LITTER BOX!.......... According to the Marvel Universe, those would be Flerken! marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/FlerkenGlad to hear I'm not alone and thanks for the link. I think I'll give those a try as well. For $20 bucks, what could go wrong? (famous last words)
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Post by amstel78 on Jan 10, 2020 15:38:08 GMT
Funny you should mention that. In the strip mall I first had my business in there was a Chinese restaurant down at the other end. One night when I was leaving late after dark I saw one of the guys walking to the back of the restaurant with a large white sack over his shoulder. Thought nothing of it at first until a week or so later there was an article in the paper about cats turning up missing. Large enough number for the paper to do a article about it. That photo is hilarious!
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Post by treeslicer on Jan 10, 2020 17:51:22 GMT
Oh I've tried that. He'll meow and scratch at the door all night so one can't even fall asleep to begin with. I've even tried locking him in the room my kids are in, and he'll do the same thing trying to get out to our room. At least if I leave my door open, he'll come in and sleep under the bed until it's time for me to feed him. I think he's imprinted on me in some unhealthy fashion... You need a pet carrier and a pair of long welding gloves. Put the pet carrier out in the garage. Wearing the welding gauntlets (and possibly your plate carrier), grab the little precious and stuff him in the pet carrier. Lock it securely. Release him in the morning. Problem solved.
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Post by MOK on Jan 10, 2020 19:24:14 GMT
Oh I've tried that. He'll meow and scratch at the door all night so one can't even fall asleep to begin with. I've even tried locking him in the room my kids are in, and he'll do the same thing trying to get out to our room. At least if I leave my door open, he'll come in and sleep under the bed until it's time for me to feed him. I think he's imprinted on me in some unhealthy fashion... You need a pet carrier and a pair of long welding gloves. Put the pet carrier out in the garage. Wearing the welding gauntlets (and possibly your plate carrier), grab the little precious and stuff him in the pet carrier. Lock it securely. Release him in the morning. Problem solved. ONCE. Next night, you put on the welding gloves and suddenly there's no cat to be seen anywhere. Like the Borg, they learn...
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Post by amstel78 on Jan 10, 2020 19:29:25 GMT
Like the Borg, they learn... And have a long memory...
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