New Ronin Super Blade - Trapped Oni Soul Katana
Feb 17, 2012 2:20:38 GMT
Post by Ronin Katana on Feb 17, 2012 2:20:38 GMT
Welcome all! Below is the advertising copy sent to me by my advertising company D&D with slight revisions. I will be asking Christie's to place it in a high profile international auction if it does not sell here first. My asking price is 18,0000 credits, but some kid who was walking by my house says it is worth twice as much at least.
Extensive testing on the blade was planned, but as the results were never in doubt, there was no need to go through with it. I will post pictures after the sale, as I feel it is very important for the buyer to see what he has purchased.
Please be respectful and bid accordingly. I will leave the bidding open until I am satisfied the buyer is on the verge of financial ruin. If you still have blood and sperm available, you have not reached your max bid.
You must also agree to the following terms ---------> Thank you! Your deal with the Oni has been made. He will be in contact soon, or yesterday. Please stay away from dark rooms with mirrors for the next 72 hours.
Trapped Oni Soul Katana
Behold, mortals, the greatest SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD ever to grace the information superhighway.
Other forges bring you SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD made from materials that are so mundane they would make the ancient samurai weep. “Carbon steel,” “T10 Tool Steel,” "Mystery Steel" and such things are vomit in the mouths of those who truly possess knowledge of SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD-making.
Our forge is now bringing you something revolutionary. Using authentic, Japanese, powdered, folded, Nipponese, +3 to dexterity, nihonto, tamahagene steel made a piece of the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, we have created the perfect SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD. How did we come to possess this rare metal? That is a trade secret known only to the two hundred Chinese workers who operate our authentic Japanese forge, and can not be disclosed due to fears ebay dealers will quickly replicate it. However, because of their great respect for envelopes full of cash, the workers have adopted us as family and call us “Third Cousin Twice-Removed (On Our Mother’s Side),” revealing all their secrets to us. We have worked together to produce the greatest SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD to ever exist. This is but one of my many forges. All of whom compete to satisfy my increasingly impossible demands for a sub-light saber of steel.
This SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD is not forged by a mere swordmaker. It is in fact forged by the great-great-great-grandnephew of Masamue's gardner, a man so full of honour and Zen that his bowel movements appear only in a higher plan of existence. Using his patented secret mysterious forging methods, our smith has created a blade with geometry so perfect that the edge is sharp enough to shave the electrons off an atom. Polished with the scales of Ryūjin, the Japanese dragon god, the edge bevel grind is the square root of a negative number. So sharp it cuts space time and your victim dies before you meet him. When this SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD was forged, thirty-three assistant smiths died and another forty were in intensive care for many months. Eleven of them are still there, and may never regain the ability to forge SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs. One of them will never be a father. They began this project with stern resolve, however, and their sacrifices only make this SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD more desirable to the discerning collector.
We must inform you that more than dinosaur killing space metal and secret Japanese forging techniques performed by Chinese smiths has gone into this SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD. We recruited several Buddhist priests to perform a ritual that would bind an ancient spirit into the molecules of the metal. That is correct – the Oni depicted upon the tsuba has been trapped within the blade to add ferocity and honour to your one of a kind superb exquisite perfect SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD. We are not responsible for any harm that may come to your family or loved ones due to the influence of this unholy demon, who is understandably quite upset about his current situation. When combined with threats of violence, the fearsome spectacle of the katana unsheathed causes mothers with children and other unarmed innocents to flee in terror. *Warning - As a result of unfortunate past events, high ranking Catholic clergy are asked not to bid.
Other aspects of this magnificent SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD beyond the blade and the trapped Japanese Ogre Spirit are also beyond compare. The silk for the ito handle wrap was harvested from a colony of sacred silkworms, and each strand was individually milked from the silkworms by beautiful women. The samé wrap is the finest komodo dragon skin, harvested from the youngest dragons who are but minutes from hatching. The amount of skin needed for this triple wrap ensured the species is even closer to extinction. The saya is made from the last remaining pieces of Miyamoto Musashi’s bokken which he used in battle against Sasaki Kojirō. The lacquer is made from a mixture of secret ingredients like geisha tears and kitten purrs. Truly, this piece is one of a kind.
No longer will you have to settle for SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs that cannot do the impossible. With this one-of-a-kind SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD, you will BE the impossible. This SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD can cut other SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs in half. It out-performs other SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs on every conceivable level and several inconceivable ones as well. Discerning collectors will ignore all other options for SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs and sell whatever personal effects, organs or family members necessary in order to avail themselves of this SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD. If you ignore this opportunity to own the finest SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD that will ever exist, your ancestors will not forgive you.
This SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD is available for the low, one time price of 18000 credits, or by special auction offers on SBG only. DVD’s of the beautiful women milking the silkworms are available in exchange for stem cells (please add $182.50 for USPS media mail shipping.)
Extensive testing on the blade was planned, but as the results were never in doubt, there was no need to go through with it. I will post pictures after the sale, as I feel it is very important for the buyer to see what he has purchased.
Please be respectful and bid accordingly. I will leave the bidding open until I am satisfied the buyer is on the verge of financial ruin. If you still have blood and sperm available, you have not reached your max bid.
You must also agree to the following terms ---------> Thank you! Your deal with the Oni has been made. He will be in contact soon, or yesterday. Please stay away from dark rooms with mirrors for the next 72 hours.
Trapped Oni Soul Katana
Behold, mortals, the greatest SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD ever to grace the information superhighway.
Other forges bring you SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD made from materials that are so mundane they would make the ancient samurai weep. “Carbon steel,” “T10 Tool Steel,” "Mystery Steel" and such things are vomit in the mouths of those who truly possess knowledge of SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD-making.
Our forge is now bringing you something revolutionary. Using authentic, Japanese, powdered, folded, Nipponese, +3 to dexterity, nihonto, tamahagene steel made a piece of the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, we have created the perfect SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD. How did we come to possess this rare metal? That is a trade secret known only to the two hundred Chinese workers who operate our authentic Japanese forge, and can not be disclosed due to fears ebay dealers will quickly replicate it. However, because of their great respect for envelopes full of cash, the workers have adopted us as family and call us “Third Cousin Twice-Removed (On Our Mother’s Side),” revealing all their secrets to us. We have worked together to produce the greatest SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD to ever exist. This is but one of my many forges. All of whom compete to satisfy my increasingly impossible demands for a sub-light saber of steel.
This SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD is not forged by a mere swordmaker. It is in fact forged by the great-great-great-grandnephew of Masamue's gardner, a man so full of honour and Zen that his bowel movements appear only in a higher plan of existence. Using his patented secret mysterious forging methods, our smith has created a blade with geometry so perfect that the edge is sharp enough to shave the electrons off an atom. Polished with the scales of Ryūjin, the Japanese dragon god, the edge bevel grind is the square root of a negative number. So sharp it cuts space time and your victim dies before you meet him. When this SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD was forged, thirty-three assistant smiths died and another forty were in intensive care for many months. Eleven of them are still there, and may never regain the ability to forge SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs. One of them will never be a father. They began this project with stern resolve, however, and their sacrifices only make this SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD more desirable to the discerning collector.
We must inform you that more than dinosaur killing space metal and secret Japanese forging techniques performed by Chinese smiths has gone into this SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD. We recruited several Buddhist priests to perform a ritual that would bind an ancient spirit into the molecules of the metal. That is correct – the Oni depicted upon the tsuba has been trapped within the blade to add ferocity and honour to your one of a kind superb exquisite perfect SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD. We are not responsible for any harm that may come to your family or loved ones due to the influence of this unholy demon, who is understandably quite upset about his current situation. When combined with threats of violence, the fearsome spectacle of the katana unsheathed causes mothers with children and other unarmed innocents to flee in terror. *Warning - As a result of unfortunate past events, high ranking Catholic clergy are asked not to bid.
Other aspects of this magnificent SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD beyond the blade and the trapped Japanese Ogre Spirit are also beyond compare. The silk for the ito handle wrap was harvested from a colony of sacred silkworms, and each strand was individually milked from the silkworms by beautiful women. The samé wrap is the finest komodo dragon skin, harvested from the youngest dragons who are but minutes from hatching. The amount of skin needed for this triple wrap ensured the species is even closer to extinction. The saya is made from the last remaining pieces of Miyamoto Musashi’s bokken which he used in battle against Sasaki Kojirō. The lacquer is made from a mixture of secret ingredients like geisha tears and kitten purrs. Truly, this piece is one of a kind.
No longer will you have to settle for SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs that cannot do the impossible. With this one-of-a-kind SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD, you will BE the impossible. This SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD can cut other SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs in half. It out-performs other SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs on every conceivable level and several inconceivable ones as well. Discerning collectors will ignore all other options for SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORDs and sell whatever personal effects, organs or family members necessary in order to avail themselves of this SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD. If you ignore this opportunity to own the finest SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD that will ever exist, your ancestors will not forgive you.
This SAMURAI KATANA NIHONTO SWORD is available for the low, one time price of 18000 credits, or by special auction offers on SBG only. DVD’s of the beautiful women milking the silkworms are available in exchange for stem cells (please add $182.50 for USPS media mail shipping.)
